\n Every time a straight girl tells me “I wish I was a lesbian”, I\n want to light myself on fire.\n
\n\n\n Picture it. Walk with me for a second.\n
\n\n\n You enter into your favorite local bar looking
\n For years, your friends, family members, and medical professionals\n will doubt your continued homosexual confessions. They will tell\n you that you “haven’t met the right man.” Sex with women is fine.\n That’s allowed. You can be “experimental,” a titillating object of\n the male gaze. You can be fluid. But you want to partner with a\n woman? No no. You must be mistaken. You tend to believe them,\n because you’ve been conditioned to disbelieve yourself, to instead\n defer to the voices of others.\n
\n\n\n You will experience years of confusion about your sexuality,\n because you haven’t been taught to prioritize your own sexual\n desire. None of your female friends orgasm anyway. And if they do,\n it’s definitely not from penetration. Everyone’s a little in love\n with their best friend, right? Maybe you just haven’t met the\n right man.\n
\n\n\n The word “crazy” continues to come up whenever you discuss your\n love life, because mainstream society still associates lesbian\n love with mental instability. If you’re femme-presenting, you will\n hear wildly homophobic statements in your presence. You will hear\n people opine about single brothers, cousins, uncles who are\n “obviously gay,” which doesn’t bother you. But then you’ll hear\n them mention their unhinged friend, about whom they express a\n performative concern, tinged with excitement: “She went to rehab\n and then she dated a woman…. That’s just Crazy Carrie for you!”\n
\n\n\n A family member to tell you that your your “alarming lifestyle”\n has required them to seek therapy. Your mom will tell you that she\n “supports you no matter what” but that it would be “much easier\n for everyone if you dated a man.” Your love life will become a\n burden, something that frightens people. You will go to the Deep\n South for the holidays and your Grandmother will quite literally\n scream when you confirm her suspicions that you do, in fact, have\n a girlfriend...\n
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